Core-Experiences
Part 2: After-Effects: Subsequent Experiences 1991 continued
Written by Gary Osborn between 1991 and 1997.
Copyright © G Osborn 1997. All Rights Reserved.
Dreams of knowledge
Paul:
“After the first core experience, quite a few of my dreams involved viewing what I can only describe at this stage, as mathematical equations or scientific data from the pages of an open book held close to my eyes. I can see all the detail of the words up close, but they fade from view and from my memory as I awake. On one occasion I remember a dream in which I was viewing a cartoon demonstration film – much like the cartoon featured in the film Jurassic Park where DNA and its use in bringing the dinosaurs back to life is being simply explained in a child-like way. During this “demonstration film,” in which I can remember seeing things like molecules, atoms and cells, I heard someone telling me: “Remember . . . the very thing that holds everything together is the friction between ‘yes’ and ‘no’ . . .” I awoke soon after hearing this and this is only one of the rare snippets of information that I have retained from these dreams.”
Gary:
From the moment Paul told me about this dream and what it revealed to him, I knew that it meant something important. The significance of this is expressed in the preliminary articles, The Friction between ‘Yes’ and ‘No.’
This was one of the first clues that led me to an understanding of that “something” I call the Neutral Point. The meaning of this sentence should be obvious to all of us as regards our dual perception, which is an aspect of our ‘alternating’ energies – but more on this later.
I have had the same kind of dreams – and still do.
I will either see words of a book held close to my eyes, or I will hear someone giving me instructions or some kind of tuition in what I can only describe as being paradoxically, a very simple but highly complex knowledge. Regarding the book, I often see gold luminous words on bright blue pages.
The letters are not English. Their form seems to be almost a mixture between Rune symbols, and Hebrew, Arabic, and Cyrillic letters, along with something like ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. I often have these so-called dreams just before I wake – again the ‘hypnopompic state.’
The strange thing is I will often remember certain sentences either read or said as I awake, but then they will fade from my memory as I fight to hold them. I remember these dreams as being absolutely filled with things that I thought only a genius would understand, and it felt strange that I was able to understand these things! In these dreams, it was as if I would know the answers to specific mathematical equations. When I would wake I would feel incredibly revitalised, but confused as to how my mind could have know all these things when I had never been interested in studying algebra, mathematical equations – or any kind of scientific mathematical formulation. It wasn’t as if they were scientific either: It was as if these mathematical equations were exclusively divine or definitive in their conclusion . . . as if everything has been brought together under one equation!
At the time – regarding the first dreams of this kind – I was of the idea that I had still retained the information of these dreams in my subconscious, and that this location is their purpose – as if I was carrying “sealed orders” that may manifest later in my thoughts or in my writings.
Now I am of the idea that we know these things already at a higher level and that it may be our ‘higher-selves’ that are loading this information into our subconscious so that it may later filter through to our everyday consciousness. It then manifests when we are in a creative frame of mind. This of course is evolution at work.
Semi-Conscious Experiences
Paul:
“Now the main experience [June 7, 1991] was a fantastic experience, because I was clear-headed and very awake, I was able to observe this process with total clarity. When I mentioned this experience to people, many times they gave a reaction that implied that I must have been dreaming. At that time, my reaction to this was anger. I was frustrated with what I thought was their ignorance and stupidity. I wanted to shake them by the lapels and say “Listen you fools, there is something else . . . something that exists outside our normal experience!”
"At first I was thinking: ‘I know that there is nothing wrong with me psychologically – so this thing that’s happening to me must be something that only a few people awaken to . . . something that is going on with us all the time, but a process that our normal consciousness is unaware of.’ Even though I thought we were all capable of it, I came to realise that many around me did not share or even understand this experience.
It wasn’t much later that I found similar experiences in books about the paranormal and Eastern mysticism. This experience was awesome. This power or energy is something I cannot put into words properly . . . most people can have no idea; but then I also think to myself that I was sceptical like them once, and would have given the same reaction.
After that first initial experience, this ‘electrical phenomenon’ – as I sometimes called it – became a regular occurrence. It would wake me up in the middle of the night. The problem is that the electrical ‘flamming’ sensation . . . the vibration coursing through my body . . . the whole experience, is a different type of experience when I’m half asleep. I am semi-conscious, and so I cannot comprehend nor function consciously. Everyone knows what it’s like to be half-asleep and half-awake . . . groggy . . . time is disjointed, everything is disjointed, you have vague memories, and that’s the problem I had with my later experiences of this phenomenon . . . I was always half asleep and half awake”. [Hypnagogic].
Kundalini
Gary:
It was at this time that Paul began searching in old bookshops and it was in one of these books that he found a reference to something called Kundalini.
When Paul told me that he thought his experiences were related to Kundalini, I laughed, because it was a strange word that I had never heard before.
Some of the people we knew would often laugh when they heard the word Kundalini for the first time. It was obvious that the name reminded them of the word cunnilingus – in reference to oral sex performed on the female genitalia.
Paul began telling me that ‘Kundalini’ is an ancient Sanskrit word for this ‘energy phenomenon’ he had experienced and that it had something to do with the release of an extra supply of pure consciousness energy along the spinal column.
I thought it all very interesting but complex. I also remember Paul telling me that the Sanskrit term for this energy is called ‘Prana,’ and that it rises up the spine and activates the seven major Chakras in the human body – each of which is a vortex or “knot” of highly concentrated energy. I had heard or read about the Chakras in various books – but had not really paid any attention to them.
Paul also said that Kundalini is an experience that is very much related to Yoga. Having been given the facts of his own experience it did seem related somehow, but the Yoga connection was putting me off because I knew that virtually all his life, Paul had refrained from any form of physical effort or exertion – especially if it meant he had to exercise. I cannot recall ever having seen Paul run! I found this extremely amusing and so I wasn’t yet ready to take it all in.
We later discovered that many more people in the West are having this experience, and that it seems to be increasing. We also found that many people wouldn’t have even known that they had had an experience with Kundalini, as depending on one’s awareness, it can be so subtle that it is almost imperceptible. It seems that the more intense the experience is, then the more intense the transformation is in one’s consciousness.
After telling me about what he had read about Kundalini, Paul asked me to pick up a book specifically about Kundalini the next time I went to a bookshop. A few weeks later I found such a book; it was Kundalini in the Physical World by Mary Scott. [1]
Paul began reading this book during his lunch breaks at work, but he found it heavy going and so it was finally left lying around and half-unread. He later found another book on the subject himself which he felt was easier to read.
It was a few years later that I began to read the Mary Scott book myself and I suppose it was just at the right time, because we had both learned quite a bit about our experiences by then for me to grasp the deeper implications of this book and how it lent a lot of material to my concept of the ‘Neutral Point’ which was then beginning to evolve in my mind.
It’s strange that around the time Paul first told me about Kundalini, I had since gone into a second-hand bookshop and picked up a small paperback by a person I have never heard of before. The book related the teachings of Jiddu Krishnamurti and was called The Krishnamurti Reader. [2]
What I read in the sleeve note, was enough to arouse my curiosity and so I purchased it for a couple of pounds. This was strange in itself, because before this I had always been a little reluctant to read anything by a person with a name that had the word ‘Krishna’ in the title. This was silly really and just showed my ignorance at that time which may have been influenced by the environment I was brought up in and the western media. Like many of us in the west, I was wary of anything written by, or written about any so-called guru, as I am aware of the traps one can fall into. However, Krishnamurti was different. He always turned away from worship of any kind – especially regarding himself and others. I discovered that his teachings were so different from anything I had ever read before and this helped me in my understanding as to what was happening to my brother and I.
I shall go into this again later, suffice to say, that I now feel that my discovering Krishnamurti was no accident – as has been the same with many other strange synchronicities associated with all of this – because It was only years later that I found out that Krishnamurti had had the same physical experiences as my brother, and that he also woke during the night to witness this strange energy that was pervading his body. The only difference was that he also felt the presence of this energy during the day throughout all his talks and activities.
I found out that in 1922, at the age of twenty-eight, Krishnamurti underwent a spiritual experience that changed his life and which was followed by years of acute and almost continuous pain in his head and spine. “The Process” – as he called this mysterious pain – was still going on nearly forty years later, though in a much milder form. I don’t think I need to spell out what this “process” was . . .
References
1. Kundalini in the Physical World. Mary Scott. (Arkana 1983.)
2. The Krishnamurti Reader. Edited by Mary Lutyens. (Penguin Arkana 1970.)
